Paradise found

"I love it when a plan comes together." Quoting hannibal from the a-team seems very fitting for our decision to hit the andamans after the rollercoaster journey on the mainland. Summing up the two weeks we've had here into the simple words of one blog post is tricky. Frankly this archipelago has to be the most amazing place we've ever visited. We did very little yet did so much at the same time. We chose to stay on havelock for our time here but there is so much to explore on the other islands. You could easily spend months moving between them and you'll never tire of the sights and surroundings. We toured the island on a little scooter, soaking up the sun on beaches where the sand was as fine as flour and swimming in a sea as warm as a bath and clear as crystal glass. The food and accommodation were simple but great; lots of fresh seafood and sleeping in two storey bamboo huts built around nodding palm trees a stones throw from the beach and awoken by a deep orange sunrise each morning. We met some great people here and had plenty of laughs exchanging drinking games and bottles of beer and rum. We had animal encounters of every kind including everything from a baby hermit crab in my palm to logging elephants almost trampling our moped. There were the kamikaze flying beetles with one set modus operandi of dive bombing your face then falling flat on their backs to be eaten by ants. Little snakes, a rat and geckoes in our room kept us on our toes but thankfully no moths or giant spiders we present to freak both niki and i out respectively. There were the crocodile warnings and recent (2010) sightings to keep us vigilant however the only one we saw was made of sand lovingly constructed by us during a cloudy spell on the beach. And the ultimate encounter had to be one that i hoped i would never experience during my lifetime... We were sat playing cards one evening and to our left the waiter was stood motionless with a big stick in his hand. "Rat?" we thought, "snake?" perhaps, no something more dangerous. He waved over to the young manager who quickly asked us to get away from the table as a giant millipede had just scuttled in behind it. Fortunately for us it disappeared but a couple of days later after some heavy rain they were out in force. There were a couple of sightings in the restaurant and a small one (5-6 inches) was quickly despatched in an act of vengeance by a guy who was bitten by one 3 years ago. He described the pain as like having his whole leg put over a naked flame. He soon passed out and the pain subsided after a torturous 24 hours and his toe turned black and only healed after 3 months. Nice. Glad i brought my head torch with me as we spotted one at least 10 inches long near our hut. The good news is they only come out in wet weather and spend most of their time hidden under logs.

So an amazing end to our adventure but and it encapsulated what this trip has been all about. Fun and frightful, hilarious and hair raising, bonkers and beautiful.

Calcutta

Arriving in calcutta having been staring at snow capped mountains the day previous was a bit of a shock. The heat felt like a hair drier on full blast over every part of your body and the hustle and bustle was back. All received by us with grins on our faces. We love the mountains but we're city folk too. We were harrassed by gaggle of rickshaw and taxi drivers, both sets squabbling like vultures over the first dibs on a lion's leftovers. Under the cover of the arguments we managed to get one quiet driver to take us to sudder st for the right price in his bright yellow ambassador, windows down full, panting commenced. Sudder st is the main hang out for the usual traveller type. We chanced upon a new hotel with slick air con and pristine rooms, booked ourselves in for three nights and took a well needed shower before venturing back. After grooming a half decent beard on this trip i decided it was time to shed the fuzz to get some air to my chops and also leave myself a moustache which i wore for the first time in my life. I was hoping to carry an air of magnum pi but in all honesty i looked more like higgins.

That first day we meandered pretty hopelessly around our area, we walked through the hogg market which had a vibe of leeds market back home. We ate an unnecessarily expensive but decent lunch atop a hotel, decided upon in desperation to avoid the searing heat and humidity below. That night we went down to a popular local kebab place called peter cat and gorged on mutton and chicken kebabs with buttery rice and hot parathas. Avoiding meat in the south was straight forward, here in calcutta, the epicentre for the world famous bengali cuisine, it was not and we gave in to our primeval desires and were rewarded for our abstinence.

The next we got up early, with a plan for the day (essential in the heat) and wandered through the park to the victoria memorial. Lads were playing football on the grass as early as 7am hoping to become the next baichang bhutia (who? Wiki him). The memorial itself is like a cross between st paul's cathedral and the taj mahal, and no less stunning than either. Its set in pristine grounds of lush green lawns and four ponds on each corner of the building. We ambled round taking time to enjoy what felt to us like a good old english green with a slab of brittania plonked in the middle. We headed back to park street from the memorial to get some early lunch and snap up a bit of calcutta wrapped up in the form of the famous kati roll: surely one of the culinary wonders of the world. I had the lamb and niki foolishly opted for paneer and was tugging at my shoulder for a second bite as i gave her some of my roll. Kati rolls are like most indian style kebabs or wraps but the secret of this one's success is that the bread is a paratha soaked in egg and fried on a tawa. Holy shitballs that sho does make some fiiiiiiine eating y'all. Calcutta is seriously good for food, especially street food and at ridiculously cheap prices. I got a take away for a grand total of 26 rupees and i had dal ghost, rice and a paratha. We also ate breakfast sat down at a table on the street for 6 rupees each, as much as you like chana masala and unlimited pooris to mop up the sauce. The following day we checked out the museum which turned out to be unexpectedly hilarious....  basically the taxidermist for the museum needs to be sent to specsavers and his handywork made for some funny snaps (see sample pics below, one of them is actually a tiger but manages to look like a cross between a demented bear and a wombat with crossed eyes). We had to take a trip to visit the air india offices in north calcutta to rearrange our return flight from the andamans so we braved the metro rather than take a sweaty cab. Much to our surprise it was calm and quiet (by indian standards) and was air conditioned a real respite from the heat above. It cost a grand total of 4 rupees per journey and i couldnt help much scratch my head at how ludicrously cheap that really was. The carriages were cool and had designated seating ladies. Thats not out of any chivalrous deciaion by the authorities, its done out of safety to prevent women having their bits fiddled by groping men at busy times!

On our last night we took a taxi and searched for a restaurant recommended by the indian guys we met at lakeview in sikkim (bhojohari manna). We ate bengali seafood and it wad out of this world. The fish was meaty and the masala was coconutty, sweet and perfectly spiced. Niki's prawn dish was more delicate but mouth watering all the same. We got an early night to prepare us for the climax, final stop on out trip and perhaps the last bastion of true paradise: the andamans woooo!

Down on the farm

We took a shared taxi back out of darjeeling and north to the border of sikkim to reach karmi farm, a relaxing retreat run by an englishman, Andrew and prior to that run as a working dairy farm by his grandparents. It was a lovely setting, the combination of a traditional local farm house with touches of a quintessential english cottage. The rooms built across the front path were done so in a local style and they had some quality finishing touches that made us feel at home and set this place in a league above most homestays in the area. The views from the seating area looked out over the sikkim and nepal borders, split by a gorge and a gushing river flowing over gigantic rocks below. Over the three days there we read a hell of a lot, i got into "the snow leopard", quite a perfect story with some limited parallels of our adventures and thoughts in the mountains. We chatted a lot with andrew the owner and learnt a lot about the local area and of the many great charitable causes he has interest in, including the walk in clinic he sponsors right on the farm itself. We also exchanged many interesting convos with a well travelled american lady called diane as we lazed the days by on the veranda or in the snug next to a crackling open log fire. We were treated to some lovely food, three times a day, tasty local food for dinner and tea and porridge and freshly baked bread and peanut butter for breakfast. I soon put on the weight that i'd lost out of my rear end in lucknow. Aside from the reading we got into a bit of twitching from the veranda, using a book on local birds to tick off some of the fantabulously coloured animals we saw swooping amongst the trees.

We had a relatively long journey down from the himalayas to our last port of call on the mainland, calcutta. The jeep drive to darjeeling was too bouncy after another hearty breakfast on the farm and we had a few hours to kill in town before the next leg to new jalpaiguri train station. After discussing the option of seeing west bengal's tremendous effort of conservation, the zoo, we thought we'd saunter on down there. A good half hour walk was trudged downhill only for us to find the zoo to be closed. Bummer, i was really looking forward to seeing a red panda and one of the very few snow leopards in captivity. So, we marched back up the hill and had tea, lunch and bought presents to take home. The second jeep to the station was less bumpy and more windy, through rising clouds breaking of the mountain ledges creating a b-movie horror back drop to proceedings. On the way we overtook a british couple who we're competing in the cross india rickshaw rally so we wound down our windows and shouted good luck right in their faces much to their surprise. The train was pretty painless and we managed to grab some good seats in ac3 and bedded down for the night, earplugs in and diazepam schnaffelled.

Darjeeling again, with views this time

We planned on one night back in darjeeling before heading to a remote farm for some relaxation. Little did we know that karmi farm was back in the opposite direction from where we came. Nevertheless it was a good omen staying in darjeeling as the morning was the most perfectly clear anyone could hope for and we got up super early to take in the khangchendzonga range in all its glory. The camera on my phone painted a very poor representation of what has to be the most amazing view or sight i've ever had the pleasure of seeing. It was worth coming all this way to india just to spend a few minutes gazing at this natural wonder. It truly stirred my soul.

Trek 2 (yuksom to tashiding)

We arranged our own little trek through the travel agent who looked after our bags whilst we trekked to yuksom. He walked us through the directions with some simple maps, arranged accommodation at a midway point and in tashiding and had our bags taken their. The agent said it was an easy trek but our legs were pretty shagged out from our previous jaunt. We headed up to the dubdi monastery a good 250m in altitude which immediately got us panting and sweating. The gompa itself was quiet, i think only a few monks were out and about. We caught our breath and started the descent down the back of the monastery and across to our first major milestone of the day, the road and bridge near hongri. The forest was thick and wet from the rains. Every few kms was punctuated by hamlets clinging to the stepped slopes. We eventually found our way to road, snaking past us, tantalisingly close just 20m below our feet on the slippery path. All of a sudden the path degraded into two options, a shailed almost vertical slope to the left or a potential mudslide to the right. Niki manages to traverse like a brave cat across a ridge to the shail slope with only inches of flat ground to balance on. I watched anxiously as she slid down the rocks slowly but surely, avoiding any lasting damage. Graceful as ever coming down on her backside, the worst she got was muddy trousers and some scraped hands. (nb i think this daredeviling may have been the result of watching survival programmes back to back on Discovery the previous day). I thought things through a bit too much and with my weight, additional backpack and generally high centre of gravity i decided to try the other route down. I got myself onto a large rock and sat down contemplating broken ankles and bones lacerating their way through my skin. Niki was at the bottom trying to work out a route, the best of which was 80% plus incline down soft soil and sharp rocks. I composed myself and lowered my foot down onto a sturdy rock atop the precipise and it immediately gave way, tumbling its way down 20m to the road below, taking a hefty chunk out of the tarmac as it came to a stop. Ok plan c i thought and niki found another trail that we had missed about 100m back up the hill. I worked my way back and found my way down to the road unscathed.

Off we set down the road with a huge sigh of relief and quickly came to a glorious tropical waterfall cascading down black rocks to a shallow pool near the bridge and then on again into the torrents past a river front farm. We celebrated our escapse from the clutches of near death there with a biscuit and some crisps. We followed the road for a bit until it started to degrade and a small path lead us steeply up the mountain to hongri monastery. We ended up with a very sweet mother and daughter in tow who seemed obliged to lead us all the way to hongri monastery including stopping when we were gasping for air. The mum was carrying a live chicken in a wicker basket and i chuckled to myself as the last time i saw a chicken in a basket was at the black bull in tingley in 1985. We walked through more villages, taking classic indian "short cuts" up muddy vertical fields and walking on top of crumbling old walls to avoid the leeches in the undergrowth. We eventually got to hongri monastery and took in some spectacular views across the mountainside. We then followed our pace setters across the next mountain and finally found our guesthouse for the evening. We were met by the slighlty bashful Mani, who led us to his sisters house overlooking the valleys. We got engaged in a great convo with mani's cousin (also called mani) chatting about the history of sikkim, being part of india, the empire and education. A thoroughly interesting guy who was very intelligent, modest and clearly very passionate about his state (as are all sikkimese, and proudly and quite rightly so). Unfortunately he had to leave and we ate our tea with the rest of the family watching us intently. It was a bit embarrassing as they were obviously new to the b&b business and with the organ grinder (mani's sister) away they didnt really no what to do. The food was simple but hearty and we enjoyed a few games of cards with Mani before going to get some sleep. Our room.seemed ok in daylight but at night it felt like a large coffin. There was a cockroach longer than my middle finger on the table and one of those gigantic spiders above my bed. Mani and his grandad did an average job of getting rid of it hy chasing it under my bed then wishing us pleasant dreams. I turned to niki with a grimace and suggested topping and tailing. We both boshed one of the valium style sickness pills and we were soon off to dreamland but both awoke about 3 deperate to get out of there. Feeling pretty uncomfortable we thought lets get brekkie over and done with and get the hell out of dodge. We were served up leftovers from last night and as i thought this situation couldnt get worse i turned to talk to Mani and the poor lad had just started and epileptic fit. I ran out to get his grandad who came to his aid as we stood outside just trying to keep out of their way. They beckoned us back in to finish and poor Mani was clearly quite embarrassed about what happened and we really felt for him. We ate up as best we could and gave our thanks as Mani's grandad led us out of the village and onto the path to tashiding. Niki made a great connection with this old fella as we parted, he was a ghorka version of my old man! Ah i wish i had a chance to take a picture as on his side profile he was spitting image if about 2/3 of my dad's size.

The trek from the homestay to tashiding was (thankfully) more down than up. We traversed across the hills on tight paths and decided against a couple of sideline ascents to yet another gompa and holy lake. We ended up snaking down a seriously steep rock path that punished our knees with every step. The last few kms were done on the road. We got to our hotel and with its 70s wood panelled decor, empty corridors, wide open staircases and persistent sound reverberation it felt like being in "the shining'. We were the only people staying that night and despite the hotel being vacuous we were looked after very well by the porter cum manager and his wife and son. That evening we played cards and drank appalling sikkimese rum with coke to mask the vile taste.

Sikkim randomness

Two cool dudes on the street sporting borrowed shades.

Best named beer in the galaxy: he-man 9000.

Leech bite. (have to point out this was taken after a long hike niki's feet not normally so minging)

One of many weird books at a strange hotel in tashiding.

John terry brand cigs... Look closely.

Yuksom

Yuksom was the first capital of sikkim, the state of india which was itself a kingdom of its own until 1975. Perhaps its that then what makes this area so different to the rest of the country. Its amazing how cultures can alter in only a few short miles from the heart of west bengal to darjeeling and into sikkim. The town itself is small and quaint with one main street of restaurants, tour operators and hotels. We took advantage of a sunny spell and took time out of our busy crap tv watching schedule to visit the nearby gompa and lake hobbling along at any slight incline after the previous days trek.

The gompa was much like any other we'd seen and quite non descript in detailed comparison; the place was empty, the surrounding land was cramped and there were building works going on. We left the gompa after a customary clockwise lap and headed for nobugang park, a very holy place where the three lamas met from across the lands and founded yuksom as the capital of sikkim, with the crowning of the first choygal. The park is set in thick forest with prayer flags lining and crossing every ancient stony path. It's like buddism, the architecture and nature are all entwined into one thing, the place really does have its own pulse and hum as you pass through it in the silence. There's a huge prayer wheel that i gave a first spin of the day to and made a wish. In the centre there's a gigantic stupa resembling all of the buddist elements and then there's the seats where the three lamas sat, right under a huge pine tree. We spent an hour in the park just sitting and quietly contemplating, a perfect place for it and a feeling of serenity i might not get to equal in some time. As we sat and a small and fairly ostentatious bird (which we learned later was a hoopoe) dropped down onto a verge right in front of us and just sat their still as we crept forwards to take pictures (niki has some far better close ups). We then took ourselves down to the lake which was again calm and serene apart from some indian tourists who were unable to talk without shouting. We kept quiet in respect aside from mumbling "disrespectful twats" under our breath as we passed them by. We watched luminescent dragonflies in bright pinks and cobalt blue do a merry dance over the water and tried in vain to unearth the frogs making the ninja croaks from behind some rocks.

We ate a few times in the hotel as the options in town were limited. The food was generally ok and one waiter gave us endless amusement with his inability to get any of our orders right, all the time sporting the grin of a cheshire cat and nodding profusely at everything we said. Classic encounter was as follows: Being wary of their availability i thought i'd ask if they had some local ferns in before ordering...

Me: "excuse me, the local ferns, do you have them today?"

Waiter: "ferns." he then points at the menu. "yes sir."

Me: "ok, so you're sure you have these today?" as i point at the same place on the menu.

Waiter: "yes sir."

Me: "ok, great i'll have the ferns please."

Waiter: "no sir, not possible. We don't have."